Whilst we develop a plan for both partners in the Blueheart app, we created this section to help address some of the questions and feelings you may be experiencing.
A playlist just for you to understand what your partner is listening to.
What is low sexual desire?
Sometimes, two people’s levels of desire don’t match up, and that’s nobody’s fault. Maybe one of you wants more sex than the other. This doesn’t necessarily mean the other has a ‘low libido’, or that you have an especially high one. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect level of libido’, it’s only a problem if one person’s desire for sex doesn’t match up with the amount of desire they wish to have. It can make them feel down, low in confidence, embarrassed and upset, and as the partner you can end up feeling those same feelings too. That’s when it starts to affect your relationship, and this is where we hope we can help.
What does it feel like for my partner?
You may have been spending a lot of time wondering this, second guessing and getting stressed about the answers your mind decided were true. It’s very likely they’re feeling pretty down. Low sexual desire can be lonely, frustrating, embarrassing, anxiety inducing, isolating, upsetting and really hit your confidence levels. The only person who can tell you how your partner feels, is your partner. Blueheart helps you both improved your communication skills to make sure you are speaking the same language.
Is there something wrong with my partner? Or me?
What causes low sexual desire?
How can Blueheart help?
Blueheart will provide you with an expert-designed plan to help you both overcome your sexual issue together. Through a series of audio, written and practical sessions your partner will learn science-backed techniques to focus on their goals from boosting confidence, increasing sexual pleasure, body image and strengthening your relationship. You’ll gradually work up to more and more intimate experiences together as you and your partner learn and grow in your plan. One of the main techniques you’ll learn is Sensate Focus which you can read all about here.
When do I get involved?
Your partner will be working on themselves for as long as they need for the Self Development stage, when they are ready for the Relationship Development stage, that’s when you come in. You can support them in the meantime, remember you’re in it together.
Will I have to do things I’m not comfortable with?
How can I introduce the subject to my partner without starting an argument?
You may be here because your partner send you to this page. If so, great! They’re already on board. If not, well done for finding us! You’ll learn a lot about communication in Blueheart and this is your very first task. There’s probably no ‘perfect’ time to do this, so don’t wait for that as it’ll never come, but better to do it when you are both not busy, and both in a positive frame of mind. A good thing to do is sit down together and have an open and honest chat. Let them explore the app themselves and see if they’d like to give it a try. Let them know you’ll support them all the way through so you have their back, you’re going to do this as a team.
Can I try the app out first?
How else can I support my partner?
Is it going to change our relationship?
Is it true there’s no sex allowed during Blueheart?
It might sound strange, as you’re both here to be able to enjoy sex more. ‘So how is no sex going to help?’ I hear you ask. Well, at the moment your partner is probably feeling super anxious around sex. What you both need to do is almost reset sex for yourselves. Turn it off and on again. By giving your partner this space to slowly build back up to sex again, you’re doing an amazing thing for both of you and letting them have the time to heal. It can be tempting to break the ‘no sex’ rule, if you feel like you’re finding it difficult, take a breather, and think about the bigger picture. Also, if you feel inclined, there’s nothing wrong with a little masturbation.