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Infrequently Asked Questions: The Human Body Edition

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Reviewed by Dr Katherine Hertlein,
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created by Sophie Browness
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Photo of Dr Katherine Hertlein
Reviewed by Dr Laura Vowels,
created by Blueheart
created by Josh Green
created by Sophie Browness
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(The answers to the big questions nobody talks about)

There are no stupid questions on sex here, how are you going to know if you don’t ask? Welcome to Infrequently Asked Questions. Answering the random sex questions that pop into your head late at night. 

Are all hymens the same?

No. There are actually many  different types of hymen. The vaginal opening is usually, at first, partly covered by a circular piece of tissue called the hymen. Some are like a super thin piece of swiss cheese dotted with holes, others are a strip with two holes either side, or round like a polo with a hole in the middle. It is sometimes still ‘intact’ until the first sexual encounter, but very often will ‘break’ before then due to sports, tampon use, masturbation or just on it’s own. It’s not an indicator of virginity, you can be a virgin and not have an intact hymen.

Hey look at my vagina! 

Ok not a question, but actually, your vagina is on the inside. All the exterior parts of ‘female’ genitals make up the vulva. It’s a common misnomer as many people find even vagina weird to say, let alone vulva. But the vulva is external, while the vagina is the internal canal that runs from the vaginal opening to the cervix. 

Ok, then hey look at my vulva! Is it weird?

For everybody, each part of every kind of genitals can come in many colours, shades, lengths, sizes, and hairiness, we’re all the same, but we’re also different and beautiful in our own way. It’s uncommon to see the reality of the body online, in porn or in the media: pimply bums, different sized labia, a curved penis, body hair, stretch marks, scars, freckles (which are all 100% normal by the way). What you see out there, is not the reality for most people. It’s what a few people have decided to show you. In Porn especially, it’s become very common to see genitals that have had plastic surgery, make-up and retouching to make them look a certain way, giving us a skewed view of what ours should or should not look like. Remember yours is amazing and beautiful.  And the best thing you can do, is get to know you and your body. 

But all vaginas are the same right?

Internally, we can be many shapes and sizes too. Some vaginas are short, some are longer, some bend to one side a little more than the other. The vagina can expand and change shape during arousal, sex and childbirth. There is an internal lining which creates a lubricant, some people produce more than others, and that’s fine. You can easily buy lubricants if you feel it’s right for you. 

Are men the only ones who get erections?

No! Female sex organs have the vestibular or clitoral bulbs, which hang internally either side of the vaginal opening, they’re made up of erectile tissue which expands in size during sexual arousal. Just like a penis does. So technically, some women could have a bigger erection than some men. Not that it’s a competition. 

What does the G spot stand for?

The God of sex spot? The Great Orgasm spot? Oh no just the super sexy Grafenberg spot. The G spot is usually a couple of inches inside the vagina on the front wall, and can be stimulated for sexual pleasure. 

What is a vagina supposed to smell like? 

The answer? A Vagina. Please please only wash yourself with warm water, anything else including intimate washes, perfumes and anything else will upset it. It is self-cleaning. That’s what discharge is for, get to know it so you can see any changes that might indicate something’s up. You do not need a downstairs that smells like candy, if your partner wants that, you can tell them to go to the corner shop for pick n mix and stay there. If you do notice an unusual smell, go to your doctor.

Does sex feel the same for everyone?

Any part of your body covered with skin and nerve endings has the potential to create sensation or pleasure. But it’s different for everybody. The combinations, different places and ways we can touch our genitals are endless. Some people won’t like to be touched on their genitals at all, and that’s fine too. They also change during arousal, over time with age during different life stages, of course with childbirth and even during the month depending on menstrual cycles.

How rare is having both male and female genitals?

Actually really not as rare as you might think. It’s roughly the same number of people who are born with red hair. So think about how many redhead friends you have, that gives you an idea. It’s vastly underrepresented in the media so it’s no wonder that you may not be that familiar with it. 

Should both my balls be the same size?

They’re usually a similar size but it’s not uncommon for them not to be  exactly the same. As long as you know your balls well, you’re good. It’s very very important to keep familiar with them and how they usually feel so you can check for lumps and bumps at regular intervals. 

Why do my balls get smaller when it’s cold? 

That’s down to the cremaster muscle; when it’s warm the muscle relaxes, when it starts to get chilly, the muscle contracts moving the testis closer to the body to keep the sperm at optimum temperature. Clever right? 

What and where is the P spot? 

Another word for the Prostate. It sits internally below the bladder, many have found intense orgasm from stimulating it by pressing onto the perineum (the skin between the anus and the scrotum) or through inserting a toy, penis or finger into the rectum. 

What actually is pre-cum? 

Pre-cum, or pre-ejaculate is created by the Cowper’s Glands, on arousal, the glands release a small amount of fluid, which is thought to help out the sperm on their journey out of the body. It has the potential to contain active sperm, so always be aware of that when using protection. 

How big should a penis be?  

Penis size is one of the biggest body image concerns in men. It can cause anxiety and can be attached to really negative emotions. They come in all sizes, lengths, colours, and angles. And with that, remember so do people’s preferences, some prefer larger, some smaller. Penetrative sex is really not everything, there is so much more to it. If you feel worried that you’re too big or too small, get really good at the other stuff. There’s usually always a way to work with what we have. Whatever you look like down there, it can do amazing things and be beautiful in its own way. Again, there is no certain amount of pubic hair or balls to penis ratio, no ban on stretch marks, embarrassing 90’s tattoos, butt pimples or wobbly bits. We all have them, don’t believe the Photoshop. 

If you have a burning iFAQ that you think needs to be answered by the experts

DM us at @Bluehart_therapy on instagram. We’ll keep it 100% anonymous - we promise.

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