What were your first impressions of Blueheart?
It was just so good to know I’m normal and that we aren’t the only ones going through this. I couldn’t believe how common it actually is. It’s a real thing, other people have it too, and that it’s fixable if you put the work in! We giggled a lot during the gentle touch exercises first off, but the awkwardness goes away quickly and you start to see the benefit the more you do it. Also they’re not anything that you imagine sex therapy to be (not sure what I was expecting!) but it’s so nice to go at your own pace.
Are you glad you signed up?
You put your sex life on the shelf because it seems like it should be the least of your priorities, but when I look back on how unhappy it was making me (and my partner Mark) I see how influential it can be on the rest of your life. It makes such a difference.
How did you feel before?
I just felt a bit numb, never in the mood for sex at all. Mark would try every so often and I’d just feel so guilty saying no all the time. I just wanted it to be like how it used to be.
We’re so much more connected. It’s been so good to have what we’ve been going through expressed to us so we can both understand how each other’s been feeling. I feel less anxious around sex and I feel like it’s just broken the ice for us to finally talk about it.
When do you do your sessions?
We do them before bed, you know you’ll both be there so you can’t miss one! At first, we were sceptical that we had time for therapy but it’s short bursts here and there. I tell myself if you have time for an Instagram scrollathon you have time for this!
What would you say to any couples considering Blueheart?
Go for it! If it’s been making you unhappy you need something to change! And remember, you’re in it together.