Illustration by Marta Pucci

Jess (40) & Chris (42)

Hi Jess and Chris. Why did you join Blueheart?

J: Our kids destroyed our sex life! Haha only joking, although… 

C: They kind of did. 

J: Yeah I mean, of course not on purpose but bloody hell do they act like a cold shower. We used to have such a good sex life, and then we got pregnant, and I just think we both underestimated the impact it’d have. 

C: Absolutely, no one can prepare you for how tiring it is, and you just want to sleep if you have any free time at all. 

J: Exactly, so we were pretty lucky and got the OK from the doctor to have sex again at the 6-week check up, and I think I just imagined that’s when we’d go back to normal. Which sounds silly when I think about it now. Anyway then it was just a question of feeling like it...which never really happened. I felt a bit weird about my body changing, which I know what you’re going to say Chris, but it still bothers me.

C: She’s beautiful, obviously. Anyway, long story short, later we’re two kids in and our sex life hasn’t gone back to normal as we’d hoped. 

J: I’d just rather sit and watch TV together to be honest.

Sounds very familiar, so then what changed?

J: I just thought one day we can’t keep putting our relationship on the back burner. It’s as important for the kids to have happy, loving parents as it is that I make sure I watch every single episode of Paw Patrol with them. You feel guilty for thinking of yourself and you shouldn’t. 

So, you’re 5 weeks into your plan, how are you feeling?

C: It just feels like a weight’s been lifted off both of us, like we’ve had this bothering us both in different ways for so long it’s just nice to have it acknowledged. And I feel much closer now, before we didn’t make much time for intimacy or touch throughout the day, that was a great thing to learn. 

J: It’s lovely you can go at your own pace as I don’t have to worry we’ll go further than we want or do anything we’re not comfortable with. I’m really feeling the benefit of the touch exercises and we’re learning so much. You think you know it all but you really don’t! 

C: I just feel more positive about us. Like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m picturing us all on a nice holiday together as a family.

J: With your mum looking after the kids. 

C: Perfect.

Try Blueheart for free
Relationship Happiness: more love, more fun, and more of what makes you special together.
get the app